Letters and Pizza
by Margurite Williams -Fem Canada
Summary: Send in letters to Fem North Italy and you get a free pizza!
1. Intro

Disclaimer: I don't own Nyotalia

_Ciao everyone! I have seen many countries answering letters so I decided to start my own! Anyone who writes to me gets a free pizza! _

**A/N: Okay please try to send in letters by PM or Review please and be aware that I am going to write this in a story like format so that this fic won't get deleted for being interactive! **


	2. China I

Disclaimer: I don't own Nyotalia

Fem North Italy woke up from her siesta feeling refreshed. Recently she had come down with a slight cold due to her economy not doing too well. Her sister South Italy was in the other room talking on her cell phone with Spain yelling about something. Italy stretched her arms and got out of bed then went out of her room to ask what her sister was yelling about.

"Sorella, what are you yelling about?" asked Italy confused.

South Italy huffed in annoyance. Her long brown hair was messy as if she had just woken up not that long ago and an angry scowl on her face.

"This Tomato Bitch just woke me up from my fucking siesta calling about being lonely and shit!" she growled.

"Um ok then uh I'll just go and see if I got any letters!" Italy said quickly and ran out of the room.

Italy went outside to check her mailbox for any letters that might arrived. She smiled happily as she saw that she got a letter from China.

"Yay I finally got a letter!" she cheered to herself.

The letter said:

**Ni hao  
I am China. How are you, Italy? I've heard your economy hasn't been all too  
well! Min e is great because America's giving me money! Well, eventually  
anyway. So what does pasta taste like? All I've had is seafood!  
Hugs and Pandas**

**China**

She quickly ran inside the house and started to write her response to China.

_Ciao China,_

_I'm doing alright! Yeah my economy isn't doing too well since it made me have a cold and I'm glad that your economy is going well. Pasta tastes good but I tend to think that pizza tastes way better! By the way here's a pizza for responding to me! * gives China a pizza*_

_From,_

_Italy_

Once she finished writing the letter Fem Italy sent her reply back to China.


	3. IWantsRussia I

Disclaimer: I don't own Nyotalia

The next letter Fem Italy received was from a fangirl known as IwantsRussia who seems to have mistaken her for her original male counterpart. She looked real confused as she read the letter taking in the contents.

**HAIIIIIII,*sighs and hangs head, I look up and give u my specially made Death  
Glare*  
Italy, how I despise u, how I hate the way u have made me. I am now cheerful,  
instead of strict and hitting people with poles!  
Humph, in my opinion I should get Russia to put a curse on u so UR always  
gloomy! Hmmm yeah I like the sound of that* I wave my pole around on my  
shoulder, and start mumbling nonsense about how great Russia is.  
*while I'm mumbling my assistent gives me a shot gun and I fire at my  
temple-killing myself instantly-I quickly get back up, cuz apparently I'm  
immortal! I'm suddenly cheerful, and I hug Italy in my firm grip. I look  
exactly like Russia, except I have long hair that goes down to my elbows, and  
I wear jeans.  
I love u so much Italy!  
*i am super tall and I lift Italy up in my arms swinging him around, my  
assistant shoots me in the head again, and I'm back to being a complete  
BASTARDO.  
Me: Ok Italy, time to die!*i grab my pole and chase Italy around*  
my assistant/IWantsLithuania: WELLL BAIIIIIII, ME AND IWANTS RUSSIA ARE OUTTA  
HERE!*i salute while running and IWantsLithuania grabs my scarf. I yell  
VODKAAAAAAAA, as we poof out of the room***

"I'm not male…" she said to herself. " I wonder if I can contact my male counterpart."

She started to write her response.

_Ciao IwantsRussia and IWantsLithuania,_

_Um sorry but I'm not the original Italy I'm the Nyotalia version of him. Meaning I am a girl but I can try to contact my original and let him see this letter though! Anyways here's a free pizza for writing in! * Hands over pizza to IwantsRussia and IWantsLithuania*_

_From,_

_Fem Italy_

The day after she sent her response Fem Italy got a call from the original Italy in the original universe of Hetalia.

/ Alice, help me! This scary girl that looks like fem Russia is trying to kill me! * is crying* /

*Fem Italy hears a girl's voice screaming I love you so much Italy! *

"Just hold on I'll be over there as soon as possible!" Fem Italy cried as she got ready to travel to the original universe.


	4. IWantsRussia II

Disclaimer: I don't own Nyotalia

After getting back from one of Fem Germany's training sessions Fem Italy walked inside her home tired.

"Ve…. Germany training is so hard…. and she won't even let me eat any pizza!" she groaned. "Oh it looks like my Sorella checked the mail for me!"

Fem Italy flipped through the mail to find another one from IwantsRussia.

**Hahahaha, yesh thats me alright!U can call me Russia by the way, and my friend here Lithuania, k?  
Well, sorry for the mix up earlier, oh and *i hand her a giant basket filled with flowers and chocolate* if u let me beat up Italy, ill give u this basket*i grin*  
Lithuania:Ummmmmmm. well anyways-we are very sorry for the mix up, and all of that crazy stuff*i turn my head towards her, giving her a wide smile*  
Well, thx for the pizza, oh and(again)im actually sending this to ask u a question- well here goes-  
Do u know what it feels like to be crazy?I do cuz i once shot somebody*not for realzzz*hmmm not that i think about it, it was Russia i shot-oh thats probly y i owe him my life...  
well anyways, again were both sorry for the mix up and i hope that u let me kill Italy*grin*  
*giant basket pops out of letter filled with flowers and a big POP and a bunch of confetti comes out*  
Yours truley,(and hopefully a so called friend)  
Russia-and Lithuania  
P.S- Hope u don't mind me bein rude in the future-cuz ill be back with even more rudness and epicness that is me RUSSIA!*oh god i sound like Prussia, lolz***

She still wants to kill my original male self?! Dios mio…. I better start writing now!

_Dear Russia and Lithuania,_

_It's alright I forgive you for mixing me up with my male counterpart. * looks at basket* ooh! Basket full of pretty flowers and yummy chocolate! * takes the basket* Nope no killing my male self! No you are not getting the basket back! * hisses* you're very welcome! I'm glad you like the pizza! Hm… do I know what it feels like to be crazy…not really but I do know someone who is crazy does that count?_

_From,_

_Fem Italy_

_P.S. I don't mind!_

Fem Italy sent the letter and checked more of the letters she had received.


	5. Fem South Italy I

Disclaimer: I don't own Nyotalia

After cooking some pasta in the kitchen Fem Italy walked over to the table and flipped through some more letters and found that her sister had sent her a letter.

"Sorella sent me a letter!" she said. "I wonder what it says."

Fem Italy opens the envelope and reads the letter.

**Ciao sorella,**

I'm sending you a letter because I'm at the tomato bitch's house right now. S-She wouldn't stop bothering me, dammit! I'll come back in . . . uh, a few days . . . Just make sure to freaking turn off the stove after you use it! Remember last time when you left it on? The house would've burned down if the firefighters came a minute sooner!

And please, don't feed pasta to the cats again. No matter how good it is, cats aren't supposed to eat pasta.

Oh, and if Prussia and France come over for a little 'visit', DO NOT fucking let them in! Just lock the front door, and escape through the back . . . or something. Just RUN. The stupid potato bitch #2 is in her vital region spree again . . .

With . . . l-love,  
-Lovina Chiara Vargas/ S. Italy Romana.

P.S: And don't hang out with the potato bitch. I'm watching you. :(

After reading the letter Fem Italy quickly ran into the kitchen to make sure she had turned off the stove. Once she saw that it was already off she sighed in relief and returned to writing the letter.

_Dear sorella,_

_You're at big sister Spain's house? So that's why you sent a letter! I was wondering where you went. Don't worry sorella, I remembered to turn the stove off this time! Aww…. But the cats love the pasta… I haven't seen big sister France lately….. and since Prussia is on that vital region spree again I guess I won't let her in._

_Love,_

_Your sorella Italy_

_P.S. Why not!?Please don't watch me it's scary…..!_


	6. Zodiacs I

Disclaimer: I don't own Nyotalia

Just after writing to her sorella Fem Italy picked up a letter from the zodiacs. She beamed happily at their letter since this is the first time she heard of zodiac personifications.

**Fem! Italy,**

Hi! My Name Is Sachiko Hidaka, Aka: The Constellation/Zodiac Of Virgo! Anyway, Since I Heard From The Other Zodiacs That I Look So Much Like You, (Just Without The Curl, And Having Blond Hair And Yellow Eyes...And I'm Shorter Than You...) Don't Mind The Capitalization On Each Word, That's How I Somehow Write.

Can I Visit You Along With My Friend Taurus (Or Haruka Tanaka If You Want Human Names?)? She Looks Like Fem! Germany, Except She Has Dark Brown Hair And Eyes. And Is VERY Protective Of Me.

(Taurus: vIRGO, WE HAVE TO GO! cAPRICORN IS STARTING TO TRASH THE bASE AGAIN! cANCER, WHY THE HELL DID YOU GIVE HER CHOCOLATE?!

Cancer: I DON'T KNOW, OKAY! SHE WAS WHINING AT ME FOR IT, AND I GAVE HER THE DAMN THING, AND NEXT THING YOU KNOW, THE DUMBASS HAS GOTTEN HYPER AGAIN!

Aquarius: Bad movve, Cancer. Bad movve.

Capricorn: wHy ArE tHeRe TwO cAnCerS? WeEeE!

Cancer: GODDAMN IT, CAPRICORN! GEMINI, HELP ME WITH THIS MESS, OR DEAL WITH YOUR TWIN SISTER!

Gemini: and what iif ii fuckiing 2ay no?

Cancer: THEN I'LL FORCE YOU TO EAT ENGLAND'S COOKING.

Gemini: 2hiit...fiine! viirgo, you a22hole, help me wiith thii2 2hiit.)

Okay, Gemini!

See You Later, Fem! Italy!  
  
**From,**

Sachiko Hidaka (Or Virgo, If You Want To Call Me That.)

Fem Italy immediately started writing her response.

_Dear Sachiko Hidaka,_

_You look like me? That's so cool! I don't mind the random capitalization. Of course you Taurus can visit me I just need to let my sorella know when you're coming so that she won't get mad at me for letting strangers into our house!_

_From,_

_Fem Italy_


	7. Sakery I

Disclaimer: I don't own Nyotalia

Fem Italy picked up the last letter and was about to read it when she heard a knock on the door. Fem Italy walked up to the door and opened it to reveal Prussia.

"Ciao Prussia, how are you?" she asked cautiously.

Prussia stared at Fem Italy with a wide grin on her face telling her that something was up.

"I am going to attack your vital regions Italy!" Prussia cried smugly.

Fem Italy screamed and shut the door in Prussia's face and locked the door.

"No please don't attack my vital regions Prussia!" she cried as she grabbed the last letter and darted out the window and went straight to Saubure's house((A/N: Saubure is a fictional country from the anime Gosick)) Once she arrived at a spooky looking house that looks like it came out of a horror movie she ran to the door and rang the scream bell.

"Please open the door Saubure!" she cried.

To Fem Italy's relieve a short girl with doll like face with long golden blonde hair and cold ice blue eyes wearing a Goth loli dress with a black frilly bonnet on her head answered the door.

"Oui Italy, what is it you need? Saubure asked her in an annoyed voice.

Obviously Fem Italy could tell that her friend was currently not in a very good mood. Fem Italy nervously fiddled with her skirt.

"Um sorry to bother you Saubure, but could you please let me stay at your house?" asked Fem Italy, "Prussia is on her vital region spree and is trying to attack me and I know that Prussia is too scared to come near your house!"

"… If that's the case then by all means come inside." Said Saubure, "just be careful of the undead that are living with me ok Italy?"

"Ok!" said Fem Italy as she walked inside the terrifying house and shuddered at the creepy as hell aura the inside of the house gave off.

Once Fem Italy got settled into the guest room she started to read the letter she brought with her.

**Wooow Nyo version are you in Italy? SUGOI! both versions are so cute. must show must show the courage and feminine strength not you think?**

affections Sakery

PS-recipent your sorella greetings from me

After Fem Italy read the letter she started to respond to it.

_Dear Sakery,_

_I was in Italy until Prussia tried to attack my vital regions again so now I'm in Saubure. Si! _

_From,_

_Fem Italy_

_P.S. I will let my sorella know you said hi!_


	8. IWantsRussia III

Disclaimer: I don't own Nyotalia

Prussia jumped through the open window of Fem Italy's house only to find that she wasn't there. Prussia groaned in annoyance.

"Italy escaped!" she shouted. "Now I can't attack her vital regions…."

Prussia then spotted a mail man coming down the road to Fem Italy's house. She ran out of the house and called out to the mail man.

"Hey unawesome mailman do you know where Daisy is?" she asked.

The mailman looked at Prussia and said "You mean Alice Daisy Vargas?"

Prussia nodded her head.

"She ran in the direction of Saubure miss, sorry." Replied the mailman.

"Well um… then I can travel to Saubure to uh…. hand these letters over to her!" said Prussia.

The mailman looked hesitant but gave in to Prussia's request.

"Well alright miss, here you go." said the mailman as he handed her the two letters.

When the mailman left, Prussia shuddered at the thought of going near Saubure's horror house. She hated that creepy house with a passion. Prussia immediately headed towards the Country of Saubure. Once she arrived at Saubure's home she slowly rang the scream bell and started shaking like a leaf. Saubure answered the door glaring at Prussia.

"What do you want Prussia?" she demanded grumpily as she held her machine gun to Prussia's face. "I won't allow you to attack other countries vital regions!"

"I…. I just wanted to a… hand these two letters to Italy since she's staying at your p…place!" Prussia stammered in fear of getting shot as well as feeling the aura of the house.

"Hand them over then." said Saubure as she held her hand out to take the letters.

Prussia did as she was told.

"I won't attack Northern Italy's vital regions anymore so please don't shoot me! Cried Prussia. "I'll even call off my troops in Southern Italy as well ok?!

"… Good now please leave." Replied Saubure.

Prussia then ran away.

Saubure closed the door and put away her gun and went off to find Fem Italy. When she got to the guest room that Fem Italy is staying she knocked on the door.

"Italy, Prussia was kind enough to stop attacking your vital regions and delivered these two letters to you." said Saubure.

Fem Italy opened the door and received the two letters.

"Grazie Saubure! I'm glad Miss Prussia decided to stop attacking me!" thanked Fem Italy.

Saubure smiled a little then said "Have fun writing letters Italy." Then she closed the door and went on her way back to the living room where her idiot 2p self was crying her eyes out at the mess of broken lamp that she had previously broke. In the guest room Fem Italy read the next letter.

**Dear Fem Italy,  
As u know my name is IWantsRussia.  
R**e**cently I have joined a group against the Eliminators, and I have taken a rank up as a professional spy for the organization. I stand now as very low ranked in the group, but I bow to one day be in the top 5*shakes head and puts on a kitty face*  
Well enough of the seriousness!lets get down to business!as I told u before I have a taken a rank up from when I was just a reader-to now become Lutenant Russia!  
I hope that I can visit and meet the Fem Russia, she sounds like a good person from what I hear-but of course what I think is good is always bad.  
Well I hope u don't mind me making some treats for u, I may seem barbaric like- but really I love to cook!*a bowl of pasta wrapped in ceramic wrap is in package, also a dozen chocolate chip cookies*  
I hope u like them, I made them with extra love!just for u!  
I know I'm acting quite strange, but it's probly cuz I finally got the courage to talk to my crush!turns out, he likes me too!  
Well enough of me gossiping- I just have to know!does the guy Italy tell u any secrets? If he does, do u know anything about him and Germany?they are my favorite pairing ever!(please don't tell them I said that!it would be so imbarresing!)  
Also tell Fem Prussia and Fem France that I'll kick their butts if they try to hurt u-don't worry!consider me your personal body guard from now on!(you won't be able to see me, but I'll see u)  
I'll write too u while I'm at war!i hope I can survive the battle!**

From your battle ready body guard,  
Lutenant Russia

_Dear IWantsRussia,_

_I thought you told me to call you just Russia instead of IWantsRussia in one of your other letters? You're in a group that is against the Eliminators? Awesome! I'm sure the admin to this letter fic will be happy about that! * receives the ceramic bowl of pasta and chocolate chip cookies* Grazie! These look yummy! It's good that you love to cook! I'll be sure to tell Fem Prussia and Fem France about that and I'm sure that my friend Saubure would like the extra help. Si, the male Italy does tell me secrets. Sorry but I can't tell you his secrets about what his relationship with Germany I promised him! If you really want to know ask my admin about it she'll tell you about them!_

_From,_

_Fem Italy_

**A/N: Finally someone who tries to stop those stupid eliminators! Isn't this site supposed to unleash your IMAGINATION?! I hope that you can get to the top 5 rank IWantsRussia and good luck against the Eliminator group!**


	9. Wisconsin I

Disclaimer: I don't own Nyotalia

Fem Italy picked up the second letter and read it. It seems that one of America's states had written in.

**Dear Miss Italy,  
Hi! I'm one of America's daughters, Wisconsin, and it's nice to meet you.  
It can get pretty annoying with only my siblings to talk to, so lately I've been writing to countries, and you seem really nice. I hope I'm not annoying you, and thanks for taking the time to reply to this letter.  
Sincerely,  
Wisconsin  
PS I sent a box of homemade fudge with this letter.. Enjoy!**

Fem Italy opened the box and tasted the homemade fudge.

"Yummy!" she exclaimed.

She then wrote her response.

_Dear Wisconsin,_

_It's nice to meet you to! Thank you for thinking I'm nice and I don't think you're annoying at all!_

_From,_

_Fem Italy_

_P.S. Thank you for the fudge they were very delicious!_


End file.
